


On the Job Training

by tptigger



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Season 1, Stark Tower fanon, it's Instagram's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 11:19:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2386436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tptigger/pseuds/tptigger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An incursion on the bus's computers leads Ward and Skye to have to interrogate Tony Stark.  (Takes place during the first half of season 1 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and between Thor: The Dark World, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Job Training

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celtic7irish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celtic7irish/gifts).



Skye stared at FitzSimmons' data system. How on Earth did anyone think this made sense? They were using a lot of the same fields to do different things (really, biotech and physics systems should be separate). Skye figured it might be better to build it from the ground up to make it more useable-- it was an agency wide system, and for any given project half of the required fields made no sense, but which half depended on the project.

The code she was looking at went dark and was replaced by scrolling text going so fast that she couldn't read it.

"What the hell?" Skye asked. "This was authorized!" She hit her laptop. "It's not even a S.H.I.E.L.D. lock down command. What the hell?" She hit the laptop in the side.

Ward called down the stairs. "Skye!"

"You said I could work on FitzSimmons' lab info..." Skye stood up, stalking towards the stairs.

"Not that, someone's hacking the bus!" Ward shouted back down. "We're turning the bracelet off!"

Skye swore loudly and raced back towards her laptop.

Fitz actually looked up from the adjustments on the night-night gun to see what was going across her screen.

"What are you doing to S.H.I.E.L.D. L.I.M.S.?"

"Not me, someone else," Skye said, pulling up a command prompt.

"Skye." Coulson appeared in the door to the lab.

"Trying to keep them out," Skye said. "I swear the lines of random code started before I did stuff that activated my tag."

"I know, but..."

"Do you want me to talk or do you want me to keep them out?" Skye asked.

"Can you trace the source?" Ward asked.

"Is that more important than keeping them out?" Skye snapped. She frowned at the computer. "Oh, you think you're smart, do you, why don't you go over there."

"Who's going where?" Ward asked, hovering over her. "What are you doing?"

"Just because the tag isn't stopping you doesn't mean we're not tracking you," Coulson added.

"I'm dumping the hacker into an infinite loop in the movie library," Skye said. "Which should give me enough time to disable our connections to outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. I hope Agent May isn't listening to Pandora on her headphones up there or she's about to get a nasty surprise." Skye typed furiously. "There now... Wait they're on an internal IP address."

"English for the non-techs in the room, Skye," Ward said.

Skye frowned. "I thought that was--this is coming from inside S.H.I.E.L.D."

Ward raised his eyebrows, Coulson frowned, and FitzSimmons both took a step back.

The code stopped and the computer's screen returned to Skye's computer project.

"That's done it," Skye said, "but who inside S.H.I.E.L.D. would want to hack our systems?"

"Now that they're out of them, can you trace it?" Ward asked.

"Depends on how anxious you are to turn the tag back on," Skye said.

"I'm willing to give you free reign for as long as it takes to get the data," Coulson said.

"OK." Skye started typing.

"And if you tell me what you're doing," Coulson added.

"Just hacking my way through the network whois in order to see who the IP address belongs to--which anyone with an admin password could tell you, by the way." Skye stopped. "Maybe you should ask them. That can't be right. Let me do that again."

"Skye?" Ward asked.

Skye scrunched up her face. "I have to have messed something up."

"I'm your supervising officer, that means you give me preliminary reports."

"I highly doubt that someone in Stark Tower was trying to hack the bus," Skye replied.

"Stark." Coulson said, his face dark.

"Why the bus though?" Skye asked.

"Certain areas of level seven information are highly compartmentalized, like the members of this team." Coulson frowned.

"You think Stark suspects you're still alive and is trying to confirm it?" Ward asked.

"I wouldn't put it past him to have heard about our little adventure with the Chitauri helmet. Maybe now he's trying to find out more about us," Coulson said.

"Industrial espionage?" Fitz asked.

"He's out of the weapons business," Coulson said.

Skye snorted.

"Have you met him?" Coulson asked.

"No," Skye said, softly.

"I have. Trust me, if he's looking for information about the Chitauri helmet, then it's to make sure we're not going to misuse it."

Skye turned back to her computer.

"What are you doing?"

"For starters, checking for malware," Skye said. "That whole dog and pony show could've just been a cover for some kind of keystroke recorder that would record anything we type in here."

"And after that?" Ward prompted.

"Then I see if I can figure out what, if anything, he managed to download during his little distraction. Which is weird."

"What do you mean?" Coulson asked.

"Stark is flashy, I know," Skye said, "but he'd know enough about S.H.I.E.L.D. to know that we'd catch him pretty quickly. I mean, he didn't even bother bouncing around his IP address."

"Any chance it was spoofed or whatever it's called?" Simmons asked.

"No," Skye said. "There'd be hallmarks. It's almost like Stark wants us to call him out on it."

"Maybe you and Ward should."

Ward frowned. "Agent Coulson, a word?".

* * *

Coulson sat on the edge of his desk. "Don't tell me you think Skye isn't ready for..."

"No, sir, but what if he is after the personnel records? What if Skye's right? What do you want us to do, lie to Stark's face?"

"He's obnoxious, it's easier than you think."

Ward rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It's not me I'm worried about."

"Are you about to tell me that you think Skye can't be trusted..."

"She's not trained. And she's got family issues the size of this bus," Ward said. "I'm not sure I want to bring her into Stark Tower, not if the rumors about Stark having turned it into some kind of weird hippie commune for the Avengers is true."

"Are you suggesting he might poach our asset?"

"She is technically still just a consultant," Ward said. "And I'm worried she'll... I'm just worried."

Coulson cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Stark has a reputation."

Coulson rolled his eyes. "Stark has a Pepper Potts."

Ward sighed.

"Just don't let him pull you along on anything too crazy," Coulson said. "And I wouldn't worry about him poaching Skye. Stark has some neat toys, but he tends to hog all the adventure for himself."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Did you figure out what Stark got?" Ward asked as he and Coulson entered the briefing room, where Skye had relocated for better computer access.

"He was definitely after the info on the Chitauri mission," Skye said, "but it's weird. There was definitely some poking around and testing of the encryption of our personnel files. If I hadn't broken our connection to S.H.I.E.L.D. when I did, he probably would've broken in."

"What's weird about that?"

"Hard to do both things at once," Skye said. "I mean I know the guy's a genius, but this kind of hacking requires some serious concentration. If it were anyone other than Tony Stark, I'd say they had a friend, but I'm not sure Tony Stark has friends. Other than the other Avengers, and I doubt Captain America really knows enough about computers to hack into one."

"He has a more direct approach," Coulson said. "But Stark could very well have had help, the question is why he was trying to do this."

"So what are you going to do, send in a couple of field agents to rough him up?" Skye asked. "I doubt that would go well."

"Let me know," Coulson said, heading back to his office.

Skye looked at Ward.

"Yes, he's sending us," Ward said. "Try to keep your clothes on for this mission, OK?"

Skye really, really wished that Ward would freaking let that go already.

* * *

Skye snorted as she and Ward passed by the cosplayers in front of Stark Tower.

"Pathetic, isn't it?" Ward asked.

"Half of them are in store-bought costumes, another quarter have seams showing, and some of them just plain are off in color," Skye replied.

Ward shot her a look that she didn't really want to think about.

Skye shifted from foot to foot. "Are you sure that they're going to let us in?"

"Coulson had Fury get in touch with Pepper Potts," Ward said, holding the door open for Skye. "I doubt we'll have much in the way of trouble."

"Depends on how much Pepper Potts likes Director Fury," Skye said.

"Or how much Stark's pissed off Potts today. Did you read the file I gave you?"

"Given that it said Stark didn't play well with others and that he wasn't recommended for the Avengers, I took it with an entire block of salt."

"Never disregard reports written by Natasha Romanoff," Ward said. "She may have misread a bit about Stark, but she got quite a bit right."

They arrived at the desk. Ward showed his badge. "Agents Ward and Skye to see Pepper Potts."

"Took you long enough."

They turned, to see Tony Stark, wearing a Black Sabbath t-shirt and grease stained jeans standing behind them, his arms crossed.

"What happened to your arc reactor?" Skye asked.

Ward elbowed her. "Don't fangirl the target."

"So this would make you Agent Sneaky mark three and this the hacker that actually managed to keep me out of something." Stark eyed Ward and Skye skeptically.

"You were after classified material, Stark, did you really think S.H.I.E.L.D. would just let you have it?" Ward snapped.

"Come with me, let's talk." He gestured widely towards the elevator.

Sky looked to Ward, who nodded curtly. They followed Stark to the elevator.

"Garage please, JARVIS," Stark said.

"Your elevator is voice activated?" Skye asked.

"He may have cooler toys, but we have cooler exotic problems," Ward said.

"'Exotic problems?'" Skye echoed. "What are we, the Middleman?"

Ward raised an eyebrow at her. "The what?"

"Great show, too bad it was canceled way too soon," Stark said. "Looking forward to the new comic books though."

Skye just stared.

The doors to the elevator opened. Skye figured they were about to see Stark work on some sort of car while they confronted him--honestly, she was expecting to have to drag him out of his lab, he was rather infamous for that-- but he got into one instead.

"Damnit, Stark this is serious." Ward frowned, as if he were considering something.

"So is this car. Come on, you know you want to go for a ride."

"What were you doing trying to hack S.H.I.E.L.D. 616, Stark?" Ward asked again.

"You know, at least the last guy S.H.I.E.L.D. sent had the courtesy to introduce himself before he tried to tell me what to do," Stark snapped back.

Ward pulled his badge. "Agent Grant Ward, this is Skye."

Stark looked at them for a long moment. "So, Grant, what is your interest in my extracurriculars again? You don't mind me calling you by your middle name do you?"

"Middle name?" Ward repeated, unsure what to make of that comment.

"The last guy's first name was Agent too," Stark said.

Skye fought the urge to look at Ward. He'd instructed her, under pain of two hours with the punching bag and him stealing the stash of chocolate that he knew she was keeping somewhere in her room not to react to any mention of Coulson..

"Mr. Stark," Ward tried again.

"It's Doctor," Stark corrected.

"You never use it."

"He does when he wants to be annoying."

Skye jumped. She just about knocked herself into Ward when a blond man wearing motorcycle leathers emerged from the elevator.

How had Ward known he was there? He hadn't reacted.

Also, holy crap, Captain America.

"I got this, Steve," Tony said.

"You've got them going in circles, Tony," the latter replied evenly.

"Did you know that your friend here was hacking into sensitive S.H.I.E.L.D. equipment and putting lives in danger?" Skye asked.

Stark's eyes narrowed. "There was no danger in the plane going down, I made sure that navigation wasn't affected."

"You affected everything else!" Skye said. "If you'd interrupted the computer during a delicate experiment....'

"And just what are you doing with Chitauri relics?" Captain America joined the group and crossed his arms.

Ward frowned. "Listen, Captain, you're not cleared..."

"The last time S.H.I.E.L.D. was messing around with things that they weren't supposed to, a good man died," Stark said. "We're trying to prevent that."

"The Chitauri helmet has been placed in quarantine and a vaccine against the disease is being developed," Ward said. "Also, our colleagues invented an antiserum which is being perfected."

"And you could've asked," Skye added.

Ward glared at her.

"We did," Captain America replied.

"Director Fury wasn't exactly forthcoming." Stark was glaring daggers at both of them now.

"Maybe that's because you weren't cleared for that information."

"You're hardly a CO, Ward." Captain America glared at him. Hard.

"If you disregard the hibernation, I'm not that much younger than you, Captain Rogers." Ward's response was so level that Skye thought he might be made of ice.

Skye was going to make him teach her how to do that.

"Who's leading your team?"

"That's classified, Mr. Stark," Ward said.

"We have level 6 clearance."

"Actually, Tony, I have level 8," Captain America said.

"This is compartmentalized," Ward replied.

"We saved the planet," Stark said.

Skye shifted uncomfortably. She still wasn't sure why she was here. Stark and Rogers had all but admitted what the real goal of the hack was.

It didn't help that Rogers kept giving her funny looks.

"So are you two done slapping my wrist?" Tony asked. "Or are we going to go another round of getting nowhere?"

"We're still waiting for answers," Ward said.

Hadn't they pretty much told them by not telling them?

Stark rolled his eyes. "Fine. Get in."

"Excuse me?" Ward said.

"Get in," Stark said.

"You're kidding, right?" Ward said.

"If you want more out of him, you'd best play along," Captain America said, heading for his motorcycle. "Let me know if you need anything, Tony, I'm due back in D.C."

"Travel safe, text us when you get there." Stark turned back to Skye and Ward. "Get in." Stark hopped into the driver's seat of the BMW convertible.

Ward glanced at Skye.

"Your orders?" she replied evenly.

He looked annoyed at her. She was doing what she was supposed to do.

"How did you find out about the Chitauri helmet?" Ward asked.

"I'm not telling you unless you get in," Stark said.

"Do you want me to pull up his driving record, first, Agent Ward?" Skye offered.

"Are you sassing me?" Stark said. "Clint and Natasha claim that the first thing that happens to baby agents is they learn not to sass targets."

"You're a special case, Stark," Ward said.

Had he just stuck up for her? Really?

"Come on, Agent Stick-In-the-Mud, what have you got to lose?"

"Several hours, among other things," Ward replied.

"I can sit here all day if you'd rather," Stark said. "Given the nature of the data I was cracking, my guess is that you've been stuck on that flying tin can for a couple of months now, might as well see the sights."

Skye glanced at Ward.

"Wasn't Ms. Potts supposed to be here?" Ward tried.

"Pepper was called away on a Stark Industries emergency," Stark said.

Skye heard the elevator open behind them. Before she could congratulate herself for noticing, someone spoke.

But at least this time she didn't jump.

"If you think Pepper's going to handle him when he's in one of these moods, you can forget it," said a voice.

A short woman with long dark hair, wearing glasses, a sweater, and a smart pencil skirt said. 

"Darcy, doesn't Pepper need you?"

"She asked me to make sure that you didn't give S.H.I.E.L.D. a reason to arrest you," Darcy said.

"They're making it awfully tempting, and I'd kind of like to see them try."

"You're due for your fitting in twenty minutes," Darcy said. "If you two want more information from him, you're going to have to hop in. I can get a driver down here if a limo would be more tempting."

"Not enough time, just get in," Stark said.

"If you want any more information out of the man, you're going to have to," Darcy said. "Unless you really want to haul Tony Stark into an interrogation room."

"Doesn't sound very stealth, does it Agent Ward?" Skye asked and climbed into the car.

Ward sighed. "We have cooler cases," the whispered as he slid into the car next to Skye.

Skye glanced back, raising an eyebrow at him.

"And you are, miss?" Ward asked.

Darcy had sat in the passenger seat and was busying herself with typing an address into a GPS.

"Darcy Lewis, girl Friday at large," she replied. "AKA Avengers and related scientist wrangler."

"What's your clearance?"

"Level 6," Darcy said. "Tony can't keep a secret to save his life. It was just easier on everybody."

"Also, Thor kind of insisted with a large hammer before heading back to Asgard," Tony added.

"What is it with everyone and that guy anyway?" Ward muttered.

"Dude, he's _cut_ have you _seen_ him?" Darcy replied.

"OK, Stark, we're playing your game," Ward drummed the back of passenger seat impatiently. "How did you find out about the Chitauri helmet."

"Had a friend in the area gather some intel on those firefighters."

"Steve's a big backstoppers supporter, he found a report, read between the lines, and found the level 6 version in the S.H.I.E.L.D. database," Darcy replied. "It had all the names redacted, which seemed weird, as what was done with the helmet. We were concerned. Put on your seat belt."

Ward rolled his eyes, but buckled in. "The helmet is being contained under strict protocols. Once a cure is found, it will be buried in a deep, dark vault where no one will ever find it."

"Something like that should be destroyed," Tony said.

"Can't," Ward said. "Needed the helmet to make the cure and will likely need it for the vaccine as well. The security precautions are something along the lines of the last few remaining vials of smallpox and polio virus."

"Why does that not give me the warm fuzzies?" Darcy asked.

"Pretty quiet there, hacker, is Agent Ward holding your tongue?" Stark asked as he pulled out of the garage and into New York traffic.

Skye wondered if Stark ever bothered to learn anyone's names.

"Well?"

"I talk when I have something to say," she replied.

"I like her," Stark said. "Smart one."

"So if you were concerned about the Chitauri helmet, why were you sniffing around our personnel files?" Ward asked.

"Awfully strange," Stark replied. "That all the names on the report should be redacted. And you two introduced yourselves easily enough; it seems like if your names were such a big secret you wouldn't be so quick about it.

"Clint and Natasha say there are rumors that Melinda May's been pulled out of retirement, that this is a huge deal, and they couldn't think of too many people who could have convinced her to do that. Three names came to mind, the problem is that one was dead, and the other two have been accounted for."

"Barton and Romanoff are both good agents," Ward said. "But neither of them are infallible."

"Darcy, baby agent, note how he neither confirms nor denies the rumor, nor does he imply that there might be another explanation for those rumors, or the redaction on the names on all those reports."

"All those reports?" Skye echoed.

"Were you the one who snuck inside a drug lord's mansion with minimal training?" Stark replied. "I've read the level 6 version, if it is you're either very brave or very stupid. Either way you're very good. We have several very lucrative openings here at Stark Industries. Great salary, great benefits, and the perks include getting that bracelet tag off of your wrist."

Skye dropped the tag, unaware that she'd been playing with it. And now she really, really wished she hadn't because Ward was staring at it, and she couldn't tell why.

Had she done something wrong? Again?

"Look, Stark, if this is some crazy way to get S.H.I.E.L.D. to up your clearance level, that's not going to happen."

Darcy started giggling.

"What?" Ward said.

"Nothing," Darcy singsonged.

Skye was dying to know what was so funny. She was also really wishing that she hadn't left her coat back on the bus. Stark's car was freezing! Probably because he'd never rolled the window up. Ward wasn't showing any signs of discomfort, so she did her level best to follow his lead.

"Tony, would you roll up the window before we all freeze to death?" Darcy snapped.

"I like the fresh air."

"Tony," Darcy said. "Skye's nose is blue and that's not exactly a warm shirt."

Darn.

The billionaire sighed and rolled up the window.

"So are you guys allowed to tell us where you're from or is that classified too?"

Skye wanted to know if "don't want to" was an option.

"Yes, sorry," Ward said.

Skye kind of doubted it, but had a feeling that Ward wanted to talk about his family history about as much as she wanted to talk about her lack thereof.

"You have arrived at your destination," the GPS intoned as Stark pulled it into valet parking. Skye braced herself for the (blissfully short) cold walk into whatever building they were heading into.

Which appeared to be some kind of clothing store. The really upscale kind where there were ten people waiting on one person (though Skye suspected Stark may have bought the place out for some privacy) and two of them looked bored.

They were greeted by a man that made Skye think of the John R. Neil illustrations in the Oz series of The Wizard of Oz. He was about her height, maybe a little shorter (he barely held still long enough for her to tell), and had a crown of dark hair surrounding bare skin, with a tuft of hair in the middle shaped like a mohawk.

"What can we do for you today Mr. Stark?"

"Fitting for my new suits, if you'll recall, Victor. Also, I think the young lady needs a coat." He indicated Skye. "My treat."

"No, I don't," Skye said, automatically, willing herself rooted to the spot. She wasn't going to slink closer to Ward. Baby agents-- _Junior_ agents-- did not cling to their S.O.s for protection from horny billionaires.

Those sorts of presents usually came with strings. It was something she'd learned early, fast, and tried to avoid like the plague.

"Yes, you do, we have a lot of errands to run this afternoon and you're going to freeze in this weather."

"We don't have that kind of time..." Skye said. Her phone buzzed. "Excuse me."

Ward raised an eyebrow, and approached her as she opened it. Since it was from Coulson she didn't even try to keep him from reading it.

\--Fury just heard from Pepper. Apologies from both of us, but you may have to spend the whole day pumping him for information. Potts knows something, is too smart to let on.--

Skye looked up at Ward, who just shrugged.

"Is that Fury telling you to keep me from getting into the biggest trouble ever?" Stark asked. 

Ward snorted. "I doubt you could top 'I am Iron Man,' but those are pretty much our orders."

"So the young lady will need a coat," Stark said.

"I'm OK, really," Skye said.

"Give in, it's hopeless," advised Darcy from where she'd spilled into one of the lounge chairs. "We're going to be here awhile."

"I don't think we're allowed..." Skye said.

"It's different when it's S.H.I.E.L.D. consultants."

Skye stared at Ward. Whose eyes flicked to Stark. Then blinked four times.

Rule four. Develop a rapport with the subject. So in this case take his present. She shifted uncomfortably. Ward looked at her, but Skye wasn't sure how to convey "how do you know the playboy dude won't solicit me for sexual favors in return for this coat" without actually saying it. Normally Skye would just offer to pay, but she didn't think that would be an option in an place like this on her salary.

"You don't want to catch cold in this weather, you have to go be sneaky tomorrow right?" Darcy said.

"It's not like I can't afford it," Stark added. "And if you're worried I'm going to pull some skeevy 'I bought you a coat' thing, Fury would eviscerate me if I tried to pull that on one of his agents; assuming that Pepper left him anything."

"I'd say Fury would send Natasha, but it's more likely she'd find out first and Fury would be the _least_ of Tony's problems," Darcy said. "That's really a moot point, because I'd zap him with his own seriously souped up taser since I'm right here."

Skye was beginning to wonder just how many of the bus's records Stark had gotten to when a salesperson (who apparently was bored and had figured that Stark would win) came in with several coats in her size. All fur.

"I'm not keeping warm in the skin of some poor anally electrocuted fox!" Skye said.

The woman put half of the coats on a chair, then gestured at the ones still in her arms. "These are synthetic. Do you want to try them on?"

Skye looked at Ward.

"I've taught you enough to kick his ass if he tries anything," Ward whispered. Then he winked at her. "And if not, I have your back."

Skye was reminded of him jumping out of a plane to save Jemma--comparatively speaking, standing up to Tony Stark being a pervert was almost nothing. Skye sighed, and tried on the coats, trying to ignore what could only be described as a shit-eating grin spread across Stark's face.

Skye could only hope he was planning something equally devious for Ward, but so far, Stark was letting Victor take his measurements and eying Skye closely. She couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going on. He was watching her as if she were familiar.

She shook her head to clear it.

"Not your style, dear?"

"Just clearing my head," Skye said as she shrugged on the third coat. "Let me take a look in the mirror, do this right."

Ward was nodding at her encouragingly.

She was going to have to check what the S.H.I.E.L.D. manual said about smacking your SO upside the head when he was being an insensitive dick. There was probably something sexist about this whole thing, but then again, Stark had mentioned multiple errands, and maybe he had something else planned for Ward.

If she was lucky.

The coat was so warm, Skye didn't want to take it off. It was soft and fluffy, brown,and had a collar she was pretty sure that she could turn up into a hood if she really wanted to.

"I think that's the one," Stark said.

She glanced over at Ward, who just gave her a thumbs up.

Darcy looked up from her tablet, and nodded. "That does look really good."

"Okay," Skye said. "If Agent Ward is sure our CO isn't going to bust my chops for it."

"Not going to happen, and if it does, I'll take the heat," Ward said.

Skye sighed as she took off the coat.

"I'll just ring that up for you, dear," said the sales lady.

"The young lady will wear it," Stark said, handing the sales lady a credit card as he hopped down off of the plinth.

"Your usual compliment of suits, sir?" Victor said.

"Less concern for the shirts being opaque," Stark replied. "Other than that, yes, please."

"We'll call when they're ready for final fitting, sir."

"Thanks, Victor," Stark said. He signed the charge slip offered, and Skye was handed the coat, now without tags or antitheft devices.

She put it on, grateful to have something to help her defend against the bitter cold.

She couldn't help but wonder how Ward wasn't shivering like a crazy person. Then again, he'd worn a sweater and probably had layers.

Or maybe he was wearing some kind of crazy S.H.I.E.L.D. issue heating system. Or testing something for FitzSimmons.

* * *

Back in the car, Darcy punched in another address into the GPS.

"So have you thought about my offer, hacker?" Stark asked.

"I generally don't like to work for people who can't remember my name and try to buy me off," Skye said. "It never ends well."

Stark's eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline.

Ward frowned, eyes trained on Skye. She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

"I generally don't try to hire people who make me look bad, either," Stark said. "Just what did you do to dump me into the movie library?"

"Why should I tell you?" Skye asked. "So that next time you can avoid it and hack into our files? No, thank you."

"Clever trick, but I really want to know is why you have such an eclectic collection. Supernanny seems to be standard issue for S.H.I.E.L.D., but Power Rangers? Really?"

"The fight sequences are great showcases of different martial arts styles," Ward replied.

"By which he means agent initiation," Skye said. She might have grown up watching the show, but to watch it as an adult? Some of the shine was wearing off. "I guess he's torturing me instead of trying to beat the sass out of me."

"And the chick flicks?" Stark asked.

"What, you think all agents are guys?" Skye shot back. "We need to get that memo to Miss Potts, I doubt she'd appreciate your saying that--or for referring to any movies as chick flicks."

"Oh come on, you dump someone into your movie library, you have to expect a little ragging. It's a great strategy, but all it did was slow me down."

"Better than letting you pull the plane out of the sky and getting everyone aboard killed," Skye snapped.

Skye glanced over at Ward, whose eyes were intent on Stark's hands on the steering wheel. She followed his gaze and noticed his knuckles were turning white. Had she just gotten the point across?

* * *

Skye was surprised that their next stop didn't have valet parking, Stark just pulled into a garage, for which he swiped a pass, and parked. He hadn't spoken a word since Skye had pointed out that he'd put everyone's lives in danger.

Darcy had started playing with her phone after five minutes of silence. Skye wondered whether she was posting to Facebook or Twitter about someone having finally silenced the great Tony Stark or if she'd been texting someone that she was concerned about the man.

Everything Skye had read about Tony Stark said that he talked. A lot. This seemed highly unusual. Instead, he lead them into a building.

"A gun range?" Ward asked, incredulous as he took in their surroundings.

"If I practice on the Avengers range I get Hawkeye criticizing everything," Stark said with a shrug.

"You have repulsors, why do you need to carry a gun?" Sky asked.

Ward rolled his eyes at her.

Stark checked in at the desk, saying he was paying for the four of them.

"I'm not..." Darcy started.

"Yes, you are," Stark said. "If you're going to be hanging out with us, you're going to have to be able to handle yourself around a gun. If you want, you can take lessons from Clint or Natasha instead."

"I tased Thor!" Darcy argued.

"That only worked because he didn't know what that was, and you know it," Stark replied. "You need to learn enough to get away, all right?"

"No," Darcy said, sulking.

"Maybe you should get Captain America to teach her," Skye suggested.

Stark snorted. "He'll use one if he has to, but he's more accurate with his shield. That schtick doesn't work as well without superpowers."

Darcy sulked. "I'll look stupid in front of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents."

"Hacker girl's barely logged any time," Stark said.

Skye sighed.

"I was hoping to get you on a range while we were here and this way we don't have to worry about any senior agents trying to initiate you or a wild shot killing everyone." Ward clapped her on the back.

"What?" Darcy asked.

"I'm not allowed to practice shooting on the Bus until our CO is sure that I won't take out a bulkhead," Skye said.

"To be fair, he won't let anyone practice marksmanship on the plane for the same reason," Ward said.

Stark snorted.

Skye frowned.

"You want to be an agent, Skye, you have to learn to shoot sometime." Ward's gaze on her was intense, eyes narrowed. The bastard was judging her wasn't he?

"We can look horrible together?" Darcy suggested.

Skye sighed. "Fine. It's a deal."

* * *

Two hours later, they left the range, and Skye's arms felt like lead. The only thing that kept her from freaking out was that Darcy kept alternating between stretching massaging her own shoulders.

"That was really good for your first time out, both of you," Ward said, encouragingly.

"We need to feed them, I think," Stark said.

"Caffeine," Darcy said.

"Smoothie." Skye yawned. The second she got back to the bus, she was going to straight to her bunk.

"There's a Jamba Juice next to a Starbucks two blocks from here." Stark donned sunglasses and a baseball cap. "Might as well walk."

The girls looked at him incredulously.

"Come on," he said. "There's a bakery too."

* * *

"I think we wore out your baby agent," Stark said as they pulled out of the garage a half an hour later.

"I'm awake," Skye said.

"You couldn't dump my sorry ass into your movie library now if you tried," Stark said.

"I still don't get why I had to," Skye said. "You couldn't just ask Fury..."

"He wouldn't answer. Even if he would, taking his word for it would imply that I trusted him," Stark said. "I really don't."

Sky glanced at Ward, who was frowning.

"I might trust you," he tried.

Ward raised an eyebrow.

"Not you, her," Stark said.

"The Chitauri helmet is where it can't hurt anyone," Skye said. "They're using it to make a vaccine against the bacteria. We had to come up with a cure on the fly, and it's not pleasant, but it works. Vaccines are better."

"And your crew?"

"CO. Me. Ward. Two scientists. Pilot," Skye said.

"Anyone I know?" Stark asked.

"I don't worry myself with the gossip columns, Mr. Stark," Skye replied. "How would I know who you know?"

Ward's face was a mask, but he might've winked at Skye. Or there was something in his eye; it was hard for her to tell.

Stark sighed. It was a resigned sort of sigh.

Skye suspected that was the best they were going to get from him--at least he seemed unlikely to try hacking the Bus again.

* * *

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Stark said as they reached the Stark Tower lobby. "Unless you want to take me up on my job offer, Skye."

"I like my job, thanks," she said. Yawning.

"Well, if you change your mind, send your resume to my S.H.I.E.L.D. account," Stark said.

Ward frowned. "You're a consultant, you don't have...."

"I"m a hacker," Stark replied. The elevators closed on that.

"He has a flair for the dramatic, doesn't he?" Ward asked.

"Is it just me, or did I freak him out when I pointed out the plane might have gone down if he'd cracked the wrong system?" Skye asked.

"He definitely freaked out," Ward said. He and Skye turned in the visitor badges they hadn't used and headed out of the tower.

Fitz was waiting outside for them. In Lola.

"Fitz, are you nuts?" Ward asked as he opened the passenger door.

Skye sipped at her smoothie and took a bite of the last of her bear claw.

"I won't tell if you won't."

Skye checked her hands. "Good, no chocolate." She opened the door and curled up in the back seat.

"How'd it go?" Fitz asked.

"Stark is a dick," Skye said, sleepily. She secured her seat belt, but pulled it loose so that she could curl up in a ball and leaning against the back of the seat.

"At least Skye managed to put the fear of causing a plane crash into him," Ward added. "I don't think we'll be dealing with anymore security breaches."

"And the other thing?"

"Unknown," Ward said. "Nothing we can prove anyway."

"Are you leaving us for Stark Industries, Skye?" Fitz asked.

"No, why?" Skye replied.

"CO's been pacing. Something about Stark collecting people he likes," Fitz replied. "He knew Stark's PA from the New Mexico business at any rate."

"How..."

Ward tapped one of the buttons in his shirt. "Camera. No sound, one way only, but it helped Coulson keep an eye on things."

"He was..." Fitz frowned, shaking his head. "I don't know. Watch yourselves, he's in a mood."

"So you drove Lola?" Ward asked, incredulously.

* * *

By the time they pulled into the bus on the airstrip, Skye was sound asleep in the back seat.

"Skye," Fitz said, "we're here."

"Oh, good, Fitz, you're back, come take a look at this new design for the night night gun, would you?" Jemma called from the lab.

"It needs a better name," Ward muttered as Fitz abandoned them in pursuit of Science.

Ward shook Skye's shoulder. "Wake up, Skye, we're back at base."

She didn't respond, except to move so that her bear claw wrapper was sticking out, her empty smoothie cup still clutched in her hand. Ward sighed, his breath showing in the chill from the outside air. Ward made sure that Lola was secure, then took a more hard line with Skye.

"Skye, you need to wake up long enough to get up to your room or Coulson is going to kill you."

"Go 'way."

"Simmons, is Fitz back with Ward and Skye yet?" Coulson's voice sounded from the stairs.

Ward stepped away from the car, glancing between Skye and the lab door that Fitz had disappeared through.

Coulson took one look at Skye, asleep in the car, and it looked as though steam was coming out of his ears. "Skye, wake up."

She jolted awake.

"You are so grounded," Coulson said.

End

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Chloe Bennet's Instagram photo](http://instagram.com/p/fL0dcpF301/)


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